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Learning From Bad Dates

What happens when a date goes horribly, horribly wrong?

ArabLounge Magazine > Dating & Relationships| Updated February 08, 2021

Having a connection with someone on a date is great. When it goes perfectly, when you seem to have everything in common and you can talk for hours about everything under the sun, it's a great feeling, right? But what about when the date turns out horribly, horribly wrong?

Of course, having a great time on a date and meeting "the one" is the whole point of dating, but there are some lessons to be learned from the terrible, awkward and embarrassing dates. How do we know we're saying the right things?  Lets face it, we'll probably go out on a lot of bad dates until we find the person were looking for, and that's how its supposed to be.

Those bad dates teach you exactly what it is you're NOT looking for, and it makes the "good ones" that much easier to spot. It also goes without saying that these bad dates are fodder for great stories to tell your friends. It may not seem hilarious while you're sitting there, watching a woman go on and on about exactly how she wants her future children to look like, but it sure gives you one heck of a story.

There are also different levels of the bad date. They can range from the insipidly boring, to the cringe-worthy, to the run-out-of-there-right-now. But for every few bad dates, you're sure to encounter a few pleasant, normal and interesting people who really capture your eye. And if you weren't so sure how many psycho people are really out there, you wouldn't nearly appreciate them as much as you do. The point of learning from a bad date is to find out exactly what it was that you didn't like about the person and stay away from those types in the future. If you don't, you're bound to keep repeating the same mistakes and picking those that just aren't good for you. It's a process of elimination, finding the qualities that you dislike or simply abhor, and then knowing exactly what it is that you do want.

For many singles, a lot of the qualities they're looking for tend to be nice, smart, family-oriented people who share the same values as they do. But there is such a thing as being too "nice" or "family-oriented." For example, what about people who ask about marriage on the first date? Or what about those who are total pushovers to the point of being completely boring? It's essential to find a nice balance between these qualities. After all, everything in moderation, especially moderation. If we didn't know exactly what we didn't what in a life partner, then it'd be really hard to differentiate the bad from the good. Everyone would just seem "ok," and we'd never know how truly spectacular some people really are.

So if you hate a person who scratches their belly in public, the next time someone goes for that persistent itch, you know the date should be cut short. What's the use in wasting time with someone who irritates you to no end? It's much better to end something rather than to drag it out or to lead someone on. People get hurt that way, and the gracious thing to do is be on your way with a polite but firm insistence that "we can be friends."

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