What to Write in Your First Online Dating Message
Getting started right with your first online dating message can make all the difference in your online dating success.
| Updated March 26, 2021
So, you have set up a profile for yourself and seen a few people you are interested in, what is next? Writing that first text message will get you connected so that you can start chatting and get the hang of online dating. If you are stumped and don't know what to say how to start a conversation online, this article will help you get started with your first message on our dating app.
1. Start with a Greeting and a simple Question or Comment
It's just natural for anyone to start a conversation by saying hi, but you can do better than that and make yourself seem far more interesting than everybody else and add in a comment or a question related to their profile. Girls, in particular, love it when guys pay attention to their profile and interests. Keep it as short and as simple as you can, long messages can overwhelm a person and they may be reluctant to respond. Here are a few first message examples you could use:
- Fancy meeting you here. I am Rachel, your bio just put a smile on my face.
- Hey there, I'm Rachel. I see you're into rock climbing, whereabouts was your picture taken?
- I'm Rachel. I see that you're a surgeon. You must have had some great experiences in your career.
- How are you doing? I'm Peter. Your puppy is adorable, do you enjoy taking it for walks?
- I enjoyed reading your profile, my name's Peter and I'm also from Chicago! That lasagna looks amazing. My family's big on cooking, so I enjoy putting together a good meal. How about you?
- Hi there, I'm Peter. I see that you are an outdoorsy girl. You've got to tell me more about yourself. It seems like we have a lot in common.
In this way, you're greeting the person, showing that you have some common interests by commenting and asking questions. They will easily be able to answer simple questions about their interests and you can tell by the response whether or not the recipient is keen on you or not.
2. Add a Line to Get Things Moving
If you are really into the person you are messaging, be clear about what you feel and let them know. This could help move the conversation along. So, when writing your first text message to a girl or a guy just be honest, but don't be too pushy about it. Women feel flattered when men share common interests and ask them questions about themselves. Here are a few examples that you can add to your text:
- I would really like to get to know you.
- After reading your bio, I think we would be a great match.
- You seem like such an interesting person, tell me more about yourself.
- You seem like the kind of girl I'd get along with.
- We're both sporty people, what else are you into?
Adding one of these short sentences to your text allows the other person to see that you are not merely sending a dull text just for the sake of it, but rather that you are extremely looking forward to getting to know them.
3. Funny First Lines
Showing your sense of humor can break the ice. If something on a person's profile attracts you, say something silly to attract their attention. We all have a funny side to ourselves, so why not use it? It's up to you whether you would like to start off with a silly line, you know what your sense of humor is like and whether it would work for you or not. If any of these funny first-line examples appeal to you, simply add one to your text message.
- What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
- Let's cut to the chase, would you ever share food on a first date?
- Do you usually go for guys who are attractive or really funny? No worries, I am both.
- I'm trying to think of a Post Mates pickup line, but I need assistance with the delivery.
- I don't like dried fruits, but I would meet up for a date.
- Using only emojis, can you describe your week so far?
- I think your first text message must have gotten lost in space, I'll send you one.
- Some people think with their hearts, some with their heads, but I'm glad we both think with our thumbs.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but two rights make a perfect match.
- So, come here often?
4. Mention your Three Favorite Things in Life
By listing your three favorite things and then asking the other person about their top three favorite things. You are not only trying to learn more about the other person, but you are also letting them find out what you are like without being too wordy or sending a long message. Your first online dating message could include one of these examples below.
- I cannot live without sport, soda and barbecues. What three things can't you live without?
- I have always got to have my Nike t-shirt, a morning jog and great coffee, how about you?
- I'm totally into binge-watching series on Netflix, redecorating and herbal teas, what can't you survive without?
5. Use Their Name in Your Message
Using a person' name when chatting for the first time instantly makes one feel more connected and shows that you are interested in them. This will make the text seem more personal and hopefully lead to many more conversations beyond your first text message. So, instead of saying, How are you doing? I'm Peter, you could say, How are you doing, Cindy? I'm Peter.
6. Maintain a 1-1 Message Ratio
It's not only important to keep your messages short, but also to make sure that you don't send too many. Once you have sent your first message, wait for a response. Messaging somebody a few times after not receiving a reply can be quite a turn-off. It is not necessary to ask question after question, just pick something you'd like to focus the conversation on. If the person doesn't get back to you after a while, move to another profile that interests you and try again.
7. Ask Them Out on a Date
Online chat dating can carry on as long or short as you want it to. But you will eventually want to meet the person face-to-face. By keeping your first message short and simple, you can make it happen by simply just asking. Keep it casual, you'll be meeting in person and can ask as many questions as you like. It's worth the effort, after all, you are meeting a person who could possibly become your better half in the future.
- It turns out that I will be having dinner with some friends in your neighborhood on Saturday, are you keen on joining us?
- How about we continue this conversation over a light lunch on Friday? Are you up for it?
- We have so much in common, we should meet up!
- Any plans for tomorrow night?
- Do you want to grab a coffee sometime?
We hope you have found these first message tips useful. Go on, give your first text message a go and see how you enjoy online dating!